Out of the Wash
by Bryn Gwyrdd
Summary: The difficulties of having a secret marriage on top of all their other secrets is having its toll on Lee and Amanda and tempers are getting short. It seems like eventually everything will have to come out in the wash. Note: This story picks up at the tag of "A Matter of Choice" and crosses timeline with my story "Life Support", before covering the events of "Krushchev's List"
1. Sunday Evening

"Speaking of the wash, something of yours came out in ours," said Amanda turning to the basket sitting on the counter.

"Oh no," groaned Lee. "Not another sock?"

"Nope, not a sock." She turned, flicking the blue boxers at him with a grin. "I'd recognize them anywhere!"

"Oh God, they finally showed up. Your mother didn't see them, did she?"

Amanda snorted with laughter and began folding them up carefully, not looking at him. "Oh no, I can guarantee you she didn't see them."

"Thank God," he muttered, taking them from her to jam into the pocket of his cords, missing the blush on his wife's face that might have tipped him off that there was more to the story.

"So, do you think Francine could ever really settle down with Jonathan?" she asked, changing the subject back to their friend.

"I don't know honestly," answered Lee, leaning back on the counter. "She seems to have forgiven him for almost getting her shipped to Russia, but it might just be the flush of renewed love taking over her brain."

"Or renewed libido," remarked Amanda.

"That too," agreed Lee. "I don't know – like I said, he seems like a nice guy, but she's pretty ambitious and very smart – I'm not sure she'll last long with 'nice'."

"'Nice' isn't good enough for her?" asked Amanda, sparkle in her eye.

"Well, it's better than 'okay' at least," he replied instantly. Something about her comment suddenly brought back the memory of the argument they'd had a few days earlier. "Amanda?"

"Mmmm?"

"You don't really think I still have a thing for Francine, do you?"

His wife stared at him in consternation for a moment before her face cleared and she began to laugh. Stepping into his arms, she slid her arms around his waist and squeezed. "No, of course I don't. She told me herself once that she's more like your little sister."

"Well then, what was that whole fight about the other day?" he asked, confusion still evident in his expression.

Amanda had the grace to look a little bit guilty as she explained, "Ah, well, that was a variation of a black belt confuse-athon." Lee lifted a brow and waited for her to go on. "You were so tired and you needed to just stop for a while and get your head together, but you were determined to go back to the office and follow those leads, but even Mother could see you were in no shape to go anywhere and…"

"Amanda!"

She stifled a giggle and finished the story. "You needed distracting and Mother told me that when Daddy needed distracting, she used to either start an argument with him or, well you know."

"You know?" Lee was laughing now. "You can't even say it out loud?"

"Lee! Not when I'm talking about my parents!" She shuddered theatrically as he laughed harder. "Anyway, those were her two suggested distraction techniques and you needed distracting so…"

"So you did both?"

"I did both," she confirmed, lowering her hands to squeeze his buttocks and pull him in closer. "The argument was for you, the sex was for me!"

Lee chuckled and lowered his head to draw her in for a lingering kiss. "I think the sex worked out pretty well for me too. But we should definitely fight more often," he murmured against her lips and felt her smile against his.

"I think we fight plenty already," she answered. "But as long as our arguments always finish that way, I think we'll be fine."

"Wanna fight now?" he asked, lips tracing her cheek, grinning as he heard the throaty laugh huffed out against his hair.

"The boys are going to be home any second," she answered, and as if on cue, the back door swung open and Phillip and Jamie charged in, not paying any attention as their mother and Lee stepped apart.

"Mom! Look what Dad found when he was unpacking the last of his boxes from Africa!"

"What did he find? Please tell me it's nothing venomous!" Amanda walked towards the kitchen table to peer into the shoebox the boys had brought with them.

"No, it's better than that!" said Jamie excitedly. Lee rolled his eyes at the idea of anything venomous being a good thing and followed his wife. Jamie was pulling handfuls of envelopes out of the box and piling them on the table.

"Are those my letters?" asked Amanda in a stunned voice. "He kept them?"

"Yeah – and you wrote tons of stuff about us when we were little!" said Phillip.

"Well, you guys were what he wanted me to tell him about," answered Amanda, absently picking up an envelope and pulling a letter out to peruse.

"Did I really try and walk all the way across Arlington when I was six to visit Grandma and Grandpa at their old house?" asked Phillip, looking up from the box.

Amanda shuddered. "Yes, you did and what's more, you had your brother in a little wagon and by the time I found you, you'd already managed to cross Highland Road!"

Even Lee blenched, thinking of two small boys near such a busy road. He reached into the pile without thinking to pick up a letter, noticing the crease marks that suggested they had been read and re-read. He looked up to see Amanda looking at him, an unreadable expression on her face. Too late, it occurred to him what else might have been said in letters to Joe and he dropped the letter back in the box and jammed his hands in his pockets, noticing the slight look of relief on her face.

"You wrote a lot," he remarked, nodding at the pile.

"Well, we couldn't talk on the phone except in emergencies and he missed the boys so, you know." Amanda's voice trailed off momentarily as she looked at the bundles of letters. "And I was a stay-at-home mom then so I had a bit more time. It was a good way to keep track of everything that was going on with the boys and it kept my mind from turning to mush." She looked up and gave him a smile, tinged with sadness. "It was like having another grownup around to talk to."

Lee noticed that she'd said Joe had missed the boys and hadn't included herself in that. _Thank God Joe was such an idiot – I would never have met her if he hadn't been so stupid._ He gave an inward laugh as another thought occurred to him. _If 'okay' wasn't good enough for Amanda, Francine isn't going to last two seconds with Mr. Nice Guy._

Something of his thought must have gone across his face because Amanda gave him a questioning look. "I was just thinking we're never apart long enough for you to have written me a letter," he covered.

Amanda's lips twitched. "That's what you think." Her eyes were laughing and he knew, as usual, there was a joke he was missing.

He opened his mouth to ask her what she meant by that, but before he could, Jamie began reading out loud from one of the letters and the moment was lost.

* * *

"Now you're not going to spend too long at the office on that debrief, are you? Jonathan needs to get ready to go away with Francine and you need sleep – I'm worried about you. You're running on nothing but coffee and adrenaline."

"Worried enough to meet me at my place later?" he asked hopefully

Amanda cast a wistful look back into the house before turning back with a sigh. "As much as I'd like to, I've only just gotten back from helping at Station One, and if the boys are going to go off with Joe again, I should spend time with them... And besides," she went on, hugging him close, "You'll sleep better without me there."

"Wanna bet?" he murmured.

"You know I'm right – you go home tonight, sleep for days like you promised and we'll carve out some 'us time' next week." She took in the expression on his face and sighed. "Lee, please don't make me choose between you and the boys right now because you won't like my answer!"

"I just hate that we have to schedule time to spend together," he groused. "I swear, I saw more of you when we first worked together than I do now."

"Well, it's just so complicated these days with Mother so often away with Curt and having to work around the boys spending time with Joe and Carrie." Amanda leaned back against the doorframe, looking toward the kitchen where they could see Phillip and Jamie at the table, still reading the letters describing their childhood. _The childhood Joe missed out on,_ she thought regretfully.

"You'd think the boys spending time with him would make it easier for us to be alone, not harder," muttered Lee.

"Well, of course it does sometimes, but you know, I was away all last week and then, when I'm barely home, they're off to spend the day helping Joe and Carrie move to the new house, and then the first thing out of their mouths when they get home is that they asked him to take them camping again next weekend." She didn't try to hide the sorrow in her voice at that thought.

" _Really Fellas? I just got home, I've barely seen you and you've been with your dad all day"_

" _Mom! You were only away eight days! Dad's still got eight years to catch up on!"_

She stopped for a second and looked up at Lee wistfully. "I guess I just miss the days when I had them all to myself and didn't have to share, you know?"

"But on the bright side, this way, I don't have to share you this weekend," he answered trying to cheer her up. For some reason though, it had the opposite effect, seeming to make her more tense.

"But I _want_ you to share me – I want us to be a family, not a sometimes mom and a sometimes wife! Carrie sees more of them as a family than I do these days!" Her tone had gone from wistful to something Lee thought might be despair.

"Amanda! You know it has to be this way for a little while longer. You can't think I like this any better than you do!" The aggravation in his voice came through a little because he was too tired to mask it.

Amanda struggled to dampen her own annoyance at both his tone and the situation. "No, but I just feel sometimes like I'm getting dragged too many directions at once – be a good agent, be a good mom, be a good wife - don't tell anyone in any part of my life about any other part of my life. It feels like I'm never home and then when I am, either the boys are gone or you are."

"You know this case was personal for me, Amanda – I couldn't just drop it because you'd come home," he said defensively.

"Of course I know that but it doesn't mean I have to like everything about our life! I married you, not Scarecrow!" She caught her breath, obviously struggling with trying not to take it out on him. "Look, I know that this what we agreed to and that we're doing it for a good reason but some days, it would just be nice to be a normal family." Her voice had gotten quieter and quieter as she spoke and Lee gathered her into his arms to comfort her.

"I know, I know, but we'll get through this and be together properly, I promise. And then we _will_ be together – no marriage by correspondence, okay?" He felt her heave a long sigh out against his chest and wondered how long she'd kept all that bottled up – it was so typical of Amanda to pretend everything was fine. He sighed, realizing how much their short-distance marriage was just as bad for her as her long-distance one had been.

Which reminded him: "What did you mean about writing me letters?" he asked.

Amanda looked up, finally smiling a bit again. "I wondered when we'd come back to that."

"Well, you've never written me one. Have you?" He was suddenly uncertain as the mischief sparkled in her eyes.

"Well I haven't exactly written them _to_ you, but I have written them _for_ you," she answered, which was no answer at all as near as Lee could tell.

"You have? So where are they? How come I haven't seen them?"

Amanda's smile grew broader and she poked a finger gently into his chest. "Ah well, you haven't seen them because you haven't found them." She giggled and added, "I guess finding them is just another thing for your To Do list!"

Lee groaned at the idea of the infernal To Do list. "Amanda! Why are you so determined to get my apartment organized? It's nowhere near as bad as it was before you met me. Why can't you be happy with that? I mean, I'm barely ever there anyway these days."

Amanda leaned up to kiss him softly. "Because it's all part of my master plan to get your stuff sorted before you ever try and move it all over here."

"So you really do want me to move over here then?" he grinned, inwardly giddy at the thought.

"That's the plan, right? You want that too, don't you? You said it wouldn't be like this forever!"

Lee kicked himself, knowing that he'd sent her right back down the path of worrying about their family life – or rather the lack of it.

"Of course that's the plan," he answered promptly. "I just didn't know that I didn't get to bring any of my stuff!"

"Oh you can bring your stuff – it's your junk I need you to get rid of!" she laughed.

"What's the difference between stuff and junk exactly?"

"Your Tibetan Ram's Horn is stuff, your 'She' robe was junk."

"Oh, I see." And he did. "But the 'She' robe is long gone," he went on in mock reproach.

"Yes, but I'm sure there's still other things in your apartment you wouldn't want to explain to the boys if they were helping you unpack someday. You don't have letters about them to distract them with."

Lee paled at the thought of some of his souvenirs seen through the boys' eyes. "Gotcha. Stuff, good, junk, really bad." He paused, realizing she'd led him off topic. "So do I or don't I have letters then?"

Amanda reached up and drew him in for a kiss. "That's for me to know and you to find out, Scarecrow."

"Scarecrow?" She never called him that and remembering her comment a few minutes ago, he paused, worrying it meant she was still annoyed.

"Mmm-hmm, you gotta use all those spy skills you're so proud of!" Her dark eyes were dancing in the light of the porch lamp. "Now scoot, and I'll see you tomorrow!" She poked him in the chest lightly. "But not until the afternoon – I want you to sleep, _capisce_?"

"Uh-oh, when you start breaking out "The Godfather", I know you're serious," he laughed, dropping one last kiss on her lips before turning away.


	2. Sunday Night

Despite his promise, it was late when Lee finally drove back to his apartment, wishing their secret marriage wasn't turning out to be so frustrating. Remembering his joke about "The Godfather" earlier just made him remember Don Corleone's line, "A man who doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man". He thought back to Amanda's quiet complaint about being dragged in too many directions. _How can she think this doesn't bother me just as much?_ he grumbled inwardly. _I want to spend time with the boys as a family too... It's not like I'm leading some kind of great bachelor existence when she's not around._

He opened the apartment door with a sigh and looked around the empty rooms _. I should be in Arlington, climbing into bed with my wife, not into a cold bed alone_.

He got as far as stripping off his work clothes and pulling on his pajama pants before realizing that, tired as he was, Amanda had been right about that coffee earlier. Between the coffee and worrying about his wife's state of mind, he wasn't going to be falling asleep anytime soon and with the idea of climbing into a lonely bed so unappealing, he decided he wouldn't even try. _I'll bore myself to sleep_ _,_ he decided.

He went back to the living room, poured himself a scotch and went to the closet to pull out one of those boxes Amanda had told him to go through. The one on top turned out to be a mix of theatre programs, printed itineraries from travels abroad, receipts for flowers for girls long in his past and he soon realized there was nothing there he needed to store anymore. Carrying it down the hall to the garbage chute, he tipped out the entire contents and watched it vanish without regret.

"One down, two to go," he thought with satisfaction, trudging back to the apartment and pulling out another box. When it too turned out to be full of miscellaneous paperwork he didn't want or need anymore, he shook his head at the idea that he'd been moving these same boxes from apartment to apartment for years. No wonder Amanda did spring cleaning at her house every year – he couldn't even imagine how much clutter she'd have if she kept everything the boys collected. He shoved the box beside the front door and pulled the last one off the shelf. As he did so, something that had been underneath it, pulled free and fluttered to the floor, landing by his feet.

Lee went to put the box down by the couch and walked back to see what it was he'd lost in transit. It was a sealed envelope, but he couldn't recall ever having seen it before and there was nothing written on the outside. Turning it over in his hands for a moment, he suddenly caught a whiff of something and brought it up to his nose to sniff. _Amanda's perfume._

He grinned, wondering what she was up to. He stared at the envelope then at the last box, hesitating.

 _Nope, work first, reward later._

The last box was sorted at high speed, although he was glad he hadn't just gone with his first impulse and dump it without looking through it. Halfway down he'd found a treasure trove of photos of Julie as a child from the months he'd spent in Nevada along with some of the letters Maggie had sent him after his return to Washington. He slowed down then, looking through the papers more carefully, setting aside quite a few mementos he'd forgotten were in there, but like the others, this box was mostly what Amanda would classify as junk.

Smugly satisfied that he'd accomplished at least one item on the Honey Do list, Lee picked up the envelope at last and flopped back on the couch to open it. At the first few words, his eyes widened in shock. If it hadn't been Amanda's handwriting, he would never have believed what he was seeing. Glancing down the rest of the page quickly, he gasped and then started to laugh uncontrollably.

 _Definitely a bedtime story_ , he grinned. He got himself back up off the couch, headed to his bedroom, and climbed into his too-empty bed before picking up the letter again and settling back against the headboard to read, still laughing.

 _Dear Penthouse Forum,_ it began,

 _I'm writing to tell you about the most amazing experience I've ever had in my whole life. I know that some of your readers will think I'm making it up but it's absolutely all true. It all happened a few years ago. I had driven my then-boyfriend to the train station and well, because it was a last-minute thing, I was only wearing a nightgown with my coat over it. Suddenly this incredibly handsome man stopped me on the platform and asked me to give him a hand. He had a five o'clock shadow straight out of a Miami Vice episode and he was wearing some kind of white tux that really showed off his great shape. He had on tight trousers that left nothing to the imagination, if you know what I mean, and I was really hoping I'd be able to get a closer look sometime when he leaned in really close and said "I need you to help me with my package."_

Lee stopped reading for a moment, laughing too hard to go on. Catching his breath and wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, he started to read again.

 _Well, as you can imagine, I was absolutely all over that in a New York minute. I could feel myself getting wet just thinking about it and my nipples had gotten so hard at the sound of his deep husky voice that it was even painful to feel my very flimsy nightgown against them._

 _He had his arm around me now and he was leading me back down the platform. He kept looking behind him like someone was following and I started to wonder if he was a secret agent or something, like James Bond. I wondered if he could feel the heat coming off me at the idea of his hands on my bare skin. I mean I'd always had fantasies about secret agents…_

Even as his grin broadened, Lee's hand drifted down his body, beginning to lightly stroke the erection that had been growing as he'd continued to read.

 _He explained that he really was a spy and he was being followed by two men who wanted the information he was carrying. All I wanted to do was grab his hand and put it between my legs so he could feel how turned on I was. "Now what was that about wanting me to look after your package?" I asked him. Those tight pants made no secret that he was feeling the same way…_ _._

Lee's hand began to stroke more firmly as the letter went on with its tongue-in-cheek sexy version of their first days together until finally he had to put it aside and close his eyes as he gave into the pure physical sensations brought on by the letter's imagery. After lying there for a few minutes to recover, he pulled himself back out of bed and into the bathroom to clean himself up. Meeting his own eyes in the mirror, he remarked "Your wife is one in a million – you are one lucky son of a bitch, Lee Stetson." His reflection nodded in agreement and he walked back to the bedroom, even more saddened at the sight of the empty bed. Picking up the letter to set aside somewhere safe, he glanced at the last lines.

 _And then he asked me if I wanted to go for a spin in his helicopter and he'd show me his stick and throttle moves. Of course I said yes, but that's a whole other letter…_

"A whole other letter?" he asked out loud to the empty room. He looked around, wondering where else she might have hidden letters for him. He climbed into bed, chuckling. "That To Do list suddenly seems a lot more interesting."

He lay there for a moment, content and relaxed now, but staring at the empty pillow on the left side of the bed. He was almost sleepy enough now to finally give in to the exhaustion but something was wrong and it took him a moment to place what it was.

"Clean sheets," he muttered with half a grin. Amanda had obviously been by at some point during the last day and changed the bedclothes and while he loved these little touches from his wife, it meant that the bed smelled of crisp linen and that was not what he needed right now. He rolled onto his back, thinking for a moment before pulling himself upright and padding to the laundry hamper. It only took a few seconds to find what he was looking for and soon he was back in the bed, Amanda's Georgetown sweatshirt draped across his pillow.

This time he was asleep in seconds.


	3. Monday

"Anybody home?" Amanda's voice came from the living room and Lee walked out of the kitchen to greet her. He was only half dressed for work, dress shirt hanging off him, still unbuttoned.

"Well, you look a lot better than you did at this time yesterday," she grinned at him, marvelling as always at how ridiculously adorable his dimples were as he walked towards her.

"I thought I wasn't going to see you until this afternoon," he smiled, taking her into his embrace and kissing her soundly.

Amanda deepened the kiss, running a hand through his hair before pulling back to catch her breath. "Wow, I guess this means you aren't still mad I didn't come over last night?"

There was a questioning tone in her voice that made Lee pull back to look at her intently.

"You thought I was mad?"

"Well, when you didn't call when you got home last night, I thought maybe…" she answered, shrugging slightly.

Lee winced, realizing he had indeed forgotten to call. "I'm sorry – it was really late and I was like a zombie by the time I got back here. You were right about me sleeping better alone– I slept like a dead man for eleven hours straight - but you were also right about the coffee being a mistake – I was a wide-awake zombie when I got home." He nodded towards the boxes that were still sitting beside the front door, ready to be dumped. "I did take advantage of it to get some stuff done though."

"Oh Lee, you should have been sleeping, not cleaning!" she groaned.

"Oh, that didn't take me long – it was just enough to put me to sleep. Well, that and my reward," he added smugly.

"Your reward?" Amanda looked confused.

"My reward for cleaning out the closet." He grinned as her eyes widened in comprehension.

"Oohhh!" She started to laugh as his dimples deepened. "Your reward helped you sleep, huh? Not sure whether I'm proud or disappointed."

"Definitely proud – although I am intrigued to know how exactly a sweet mother of two from Arlington seems to know her way around a Forum letter."

Amanda was still laughing but her cheeks started to redden with a guilty expression. "Oh, you know, you find them lying around."

Lee burst out laughing. "Amanda King! No man in the world ever left a copy of Penthouse lying around where a woman could find it!"

"Okay, maybe not exactly lying around," she hedged.

"Come on, 'fess up! I can't picture you picking one up at the drug store along with your lipstick somehow."

"Of course I didn't!" She was scarlet with embarrassment although still laughing.

"So if they weren't yours, whose were they?" It suddenly occurred to him that they were probably Joe's and he instantly regretted having asked.

Amanda groaned. "Patty Klein's," she finally admitted.

"Who?"

"She was one of the other moms I knew back when the boys were little and Joe was away, and she used to bring her husband's copies to our girls' night and read the funniest ones out loud. There may have been alcohol involved," she added mischievously.

Lee was shaking with laughter. "It really is just Peyton Place out in the suburbs, isn't it? So you never, you know, 'borrowed' one to take home?"

Amanda looked horrified. "Ewww! After Jack Klein had read them? There wasn't enough booze in the world to make me touch those magazines without a radiation suit on!"

Lee was almost gasping for breath now from laughing so hard. "Well, I appreciate your attention to detail in remembering what they were like – I was _very_ relaxed by the time I got to the end of mine."

"Very relaxed?" Her dark eyes twinkled up at him. "It's a good technique then? You'd recommend it for someone feeling… stressed?"

"Mmm hmmm," Lee assented, his hands already busy lowering the zipper on the back of her skirt. "It's a miracle cure." He pushed the skirt off, giving a growl of satisfaction at finding she was only wearing the merest wisp of lace underneath.

Amanda exhaled a throaty giggle at the sound. "Too hot for stockings," she explained, as if he cared.

"I have never loved Washington summers more than I do at this moment," he muttered, his hands sliding up her body under her blouse. "Not too hot for a bra though," he commented with a smile.

"Well it is, but I had to go to the office before I came here and if you don't wear a bra, the air conditioning lets everyone know about it," she responded, her voice getting huskier as his fingers tickled her ribs.

"Really? I've never noticed." Lee was busily working on her blouse buttons now as she ran her hands over his chest and abs and pushed the loose shirt off his shoulders. He finished with the buttons and pulled her blouse off, undoing the clasp of her bra as he did so. "Oh yes, I see what you mean now," he remarked as it slid off, revealing nipples that were already pebble-hard. He moved his hands to cup her breasts, gently thumbing over the puckered flesh as she groaned and closed her eyes at the sensation. "Funny thing though," he added, as he pulled her against his chest. "You seem to be having that problem but my air conditioning isn't even on yet this morning."

"You should probably do something about that," Amanda gasped as he picked her up and headed for the bedroom. "It seems like it's getting hotter in here by the second."

"I prefer to just get rid of annoying layers," grinned Lee, lowering her to the bed and straightening up to pull off his jeans.

Amanda leaned back on the pillows, watching appreciatively and unconsciously licking her lips as his erection came free from the boxers. She lifted her arms to put her hands behind her head, turning when her fingers hit something unexpected. Reaching under the pillow, she pulled out her Georgetown sweatshirt. "I'm sure I put this in the hamper last time I was here," she said with mock suspicion.

"You might have," he grinned. "Or maybe you're picking up my bad habits." He knelt on the edge of the bed and began to crawl panther-like towards her. "Now I believe your letter said something about helping me with my package."

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night," Amanda giggled as she reached to pull him down on top of her.

"Didn't I come to your house once as a mailman?" asked Lee, momentarily diverted from suckling one of her breasts.

"Oh yeah – there's a letter about that too," gasped Amanda laughing as she arched her back under his tongue.

"Really?" He really was diverted now.

"Yes – but there's only one way right now that I'm going to tell you where that one's hidden." Amanda's hands were grasping his buttocks now, urging him closer with rocking hips. She could feel him throbbing against her equally swollen flesh. _How does he get me so wet so fast?_ she asked herself in wonder. _And how did I live so long without this?_

"Where what's hidden? I've forgotten what we were talking about," joked Lee as he slid into her tight warmth with a groan of satisfaction, matched by hers. He slid his arms underneath her shoulders to raise her closer and kissed her tenderly. "God, I love you."

Amanda gazed up at him through half-closed lids, eyes hazy with desire. "I love you too." She ran a hand through his hair, pulling him closer so she could lick and nibble at the pulse point on his neck. They began to rock in rhythm, legs entangled, hips thrusting as their flesh slowly became slippery with sweat and their breath turned to heaving gasps.

Lee pushed himself off her, sliding a hand under her hip to angle her up for deeper penetration, not able to hold back the quick smile when he saw it in her face the moment the change in position had increased her pleasure.

 _How did I never know making love to the same person all the time would be so much better_ , he thought _To know someone else's body as well as my own is incredible._

Amanda's gasping began to quieten to pleading whimpers and he knew she was nearing her climax. He shifted his weight to allow one hand to move between them and caress the swollen nub between thrusts. Her head was tilted back on the pillow, eyes closed, the rest of her body arching towards his touch. He watched in satisfaction as the flush of orgasm infused her entire body, her hands gripping his shoulders as she moaned out his name. He was so intent on watching her, his own climax almost took him by surprise as her body clenched around him. The slick walls of her flesh felt like they were pulling him deeper as they tightened around him, a pull he followed willingly, the inviting warmth so much more compelling than his own hand had been the night before. He growled out her name as his body began to empty jerkily into hers and he collapsed on top of her, her legs and arms wrapping around him trying to pull him closer still as she continued to call his name.

They lay together, gasping, for several minutes. "Let's not go into the office," said Lee finally, as he rolled off and gathered her immediately into a cuddling embrace. "Let's just stay here all afternoon instead."

"I wish we could," answered Amanda regretfully. "But since Francine's asked me to cover for her for Billy's admin stuff while she's away, there's things I need to get back to. That's why I was at the office this morning – she was bringing me up to speed."

Lee groaned even as he began to nibble her neck. "Are you serious? We'll never get any time alone if you're down in the bullpen all week. I was going to ask Billy for a couple of days off for rest and recovery."

"I know but it's so satisfying to be trusted with that job. Please don't be disappointed," sighed Amanda.

Hearing something in her tone of voice, Lee pulled away to look into her eyes. "As your partner, I'm proud of you. But as your husband, I'm disappointed we don't get that down time," he answered, caressing her cheek with the back of his hand as he gazed at her across the pillow. "Aren't you?"

"Yes, of course I am," she answered promptly. "And with the boys gone with Joe this weekend, we can make time away from work, right?" She sighed as she finished and Lee looked at her with a concerned expression. "Oh, it's just that I'm having to schedule time with you and now it's getting that way with the boys as well." She glanced up to meet his eyes and then looked away to stare at his chest where her finger was absentmindedly tracing circles. "They're growing up so fast and soon they'll be gone and I'm afraid I'll have lost all this time to work."

"And me," Lee responded, shortly.

"No, not you! Our time together is just as important – it's just that I do get to spend work time with you and you understand it better when I'm home late or I miss a game or …" she trailed off. "I'm sorry – the least I could do is give you my full attention when I _am_ here."

"No, I'm sorry that you feel like you have to choose," he answered truthfully. "Look, tell you what. We can stay here for another hour at least and then we can both go back to the office and tonight we'll do something with the boys. Deal?"

"Deal," she answered, relieved she hadn't upset him. She snuggled in again and ran her tongue across one of his nipples to harden it before looking up impishly at him. "Whatever shall we do with an hour?"

"Storytime," Lee answered promptly. "I think it's my turn."

"Your turn?"

"Mmm-hmm. Let's see now," he began, running his hand over her heated skin. "Dear Penthouse Forum, Let me tell you the story of the most amazing Bedside Bluebell I met in hospital once…"

"Oh I think I'm going to like this story!" giggled Amanda. "Does it have a happy ending?"

Lee grinned at her and waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Oh ma chère, these stories _always_ have a happy ending!"


	4. Friday Evening

"Now just so you know, Dear, I'm spending the weekend at Curt's so you and Lee will have the house all to yourselves." Dotty was smiling at Amanda across the kitchen island as she watched her prepare dinner.

"Mother!" Amanda was unable to resist rising to the bait in her mother's tone of voice. "You don't have to stay away from your own home just because Lee's here!"

"Who says I'm doing it for you?" asked Dotty, the mischief still evident in her expression. "Curt and I like to have our alone time too, you know. You youngsters aren't the only ones who don't want to be overheard." She grinned into her teacup at the way Amanda closed her eyes and sighed at her mother's ribald tone.

"Besides, I did overhear you arguing on the doorstep a few nights ago and it seems to me like the two of you need some time together outside of work, free of any distractions."

"You heard us?" Amanda asked, panicking slightly at the idea that her mother might have overheard them discussing the downside of their secret marriage.

"Well, not the specifics, no," said Dotty, serious now as she put the tea cup down on the counter. "But I did hear you ask him not to make you choose between him and the boys, so I have a pretty good idea what it was about."

 _Oh, you really don't_ came the silent thought. "Well, that wasn't really an argument, Mother. We were both tired and maybe a little more impatient than normal, but it wasn't a fight. By the time he'd gotten some sleep the next day, it was fine."

"Oh I know it wasn't a fight, Amanda – I remember what you fighting with a man looks like."

Amanda winced slightly remembering the fight she and Joe had once had in front of her parents; she couldn't even remember what that one had been about, but she clearly remembered the look on her mother's face that said she knew their marriage was in trouble. She looked up as her mother went on in a gentler voice.

"Darling, I know you and Lee love each other – it simply radiates off both of you, but you need to stop thinking of yourself as a mother first and a wife second."

"What do you mean 'wife'?" asked Amanda, now in full panic mode.

"I just mean that you and Lee obviously have a future together – although why you haven't started it yet is a mystery to me – and the boys will always be important, but they're only a few years away from leaving the nest and you need to start thinking _now_ about when that happens."

"Well I know that, Mother, but that's why I want to enjoy every moment I have with them _now_. That time is going to go by so fast."

"Yes, Dear, but it's precisely because that time will be so fast that you need to cement your future with Lee."

"You seem to be talking up both sides of this argument, Mother!" Amanda couldn't help a twinge of exasperation coming out.

"I know it sounds that way, Amanda, but what I'm trying to say is enjoy all the men in your life right now – don't make them mutually exclusive." She picked up her tea cup again and took a sip. "I know Jamie and Lee got off to a rocky start, but that seems to be in the past. You know Phillip likes him. I just don't see why he isn't here more often. More… permanently." She was looking at Amanda over the rim of the cup now, the twinkle in her dark eyes firmly back in place.

"The time just isn't right," explained Amanda. "There's a sort of non-fraternization rule at work and we can't really go public just yet."

"Your friend Francine knows though," remarked Dotty. "She can't be the only one."

Amanda thought back to all the times Billy had made remarks about their "partnership" in knowing tones.

"No, I think some other people have guessed, but there's other problems with it being known we're together that way," she sighed.

"But I can expect something official someday?" prodded Dotty.

"We've discussed marriage, yes," answered Amanda, skirting that touchy subject.

Dotty gazed at her for a moment, fully aware of the way Amanda had just _not_ answered her question. "Well, good," she said finally. "Maybe you can _discuss_ it some more while you have the house to yourselves this weekend! I mean, surely you stop at some point for some pillow talk."

"MO-THER!"

Dotty threw up her hands in mock exasperation. "I'm just saying, Amanda, you have lovely hands and they'd look even nicer with a big diamond ring on one of them!"

Amanda couldn't help glancing down at her hand, wishing she was in fact wearing her beautiful rings. "I'll be sure to let Lee know your opinion, Mother," she joked. "I know he has great respect for what you think."

"That's all I ask," smiled Dotty, slipping off her stool to walk around and pat Amanda's cheek. "Now, I'm going upstairs to pack. Well, I say pack, but really I just need my toothbrush and that new negligee I bought." She winked saucily at Amanda as she turned to leave the room, grinning more broadly at the exasperated groan she'd provoked.

The doorbell rang as she headed out of the kitchen, and she swung open the front door to greet Lee. "You know, I really don't know why you insist on coming to the front door, Lee, Dear. You could just walk in the back door like the rest of the family." She enjoyed watching him flush with pleasure at being described as 'family'.

"I don't like to presume," he answered, leaning in to give her a kiss on the cheek in greeting, dimples firmly in place.

"Personally, I think you need to do a lot more presuming, Young Man," she replied drily. "I'll let Amanda explain," she went on in response to his quizzical look. "You can use some of your alone time to figure it out."

Lee watched her disappear up the steps, shaking his head with amusement before heading into the kitchen to greet Amanda with a kiss. "As much as I love your mother, can I assume from that comment that we are actually getting some alone time?" he asked hopefully.

"Yes you can," answered Amanda turning to dig something out of the fridge. "She's spending the weekend with Curt and leaving us to 'discuss our future'." She rolled her eyes at him as she emphasized the words.

"We have to discuss it?" he asked worriedly.

"No, but she doesn't know that, does she?" answered Amanda, sighing. "She just wants to come home one day and see an engagement ring on my hand."

"Me too," Lee commented, reaching over to pick up her hand and kiss the fingers where her rings should be.

"Me three," sighed Amanda. She looked up at Lee, and grinned suddenly. "So help me, if Francine comes back from that vacation and she's eloped, I'm going to scream."

"Well, I can't see that happening," said Lee, pulling her into his arms. "Francine is more like Harry Thornton – very methodical and not at all spontaneous."

"That's a bit harsh, isn't it?" asked Amanda cocking her head to the side. "Francine's broken plenty of rules helping us out over the years"

"Yeah, but not without thinking through the consequences first – she's way better than me in that department."

"She seems to be taking a bit of a leap going away with Jonathan so soon after everything. Maybe she's more like you than you think."

Lee was rapidly losing interest in Francine's love life as he nuzzled his wife's right ear. "Maybe, but I guarantee you she isn't giving one iota of thought to our relationship right now, so let's return the favour."

Amanda's throaty laugh huffed against his hair. His hands had just slipped from her waist to cup her bottom when he was frozen in place by his mother-in-law's wry tones.

"I certainly hope that is leading to a fruitful discussion."

"Mother!"

"You just carry on, Darling. Curt's just pulled up outside, it's just that I forgot to tell you the boys asked if they could come with us to that fishing cabin Curt booked up in the Blue Ridge next week and I said I'd ask you if they could."

"They want to go away again?" Amanda asked in a disbelieving tone. "I've barely seen them this summer as it is!"

"Well, like I said, I told them I'd ask and it was up to you to decide. But I can see you're distracted, so you can tell me later. Goodbye for now and have a nice weekend, you two."

"Goodbye, Dotty." Lee hadn't raised his head from where it was buried in Amanda's hair; Dotty grinned at the unmistakeable note of dismissal in his voice. She gave Amanda a broad wink and waved as she disappeared from the top of the family room step.

"Is she really gone this time?"

Amanda couldn't contain her giggles anymore at how hopeful he sounded. "Yes, I think so."

"Good. Now where were we?" he growled.

"I was just about to pull that pot roast out of the oven," answered Amanda, gasping as he nipped her earlobe. Lee let her go long enough to reach past her and flip the oven off.

"Where were we?" he asked again, lifting her off her feet.

"I believe we may have been on our way upstairs," she said happily.

"I believe you're right."

He carried her as far as the landing before suddenly putting her down and holding up a finger. He stepped over to the front door, turning the deadbolt and sliding the chain into place for good measure.

"This way she can't sneak up on us if she comes back for anything," he explained as Amanda watched him in amusement.

"No, we wouldn't want her to do that again," she agreed.

"Again?" Lee stopped dead as he headed back across the hall.

"Did I say 'again'? I can't imagine why." The sparkling eyes and soft giggle told him she knew exactly why.

"What do you mean 'again'? What aren't you telling me?

"Now Lee, you were just complaining that we were discussing Francine's love life instead of our own – do you really want to waste time discussing my mother?"

He tilted his head, hands on hip and stared at his wife through narrowed eyes. It was obvious she wasn't going to let him in on the joke although he was pretty sure he could tickle it out of her. He debated with himself for a moment, trying to hide his own amusement, but she was right - they had little enough time alone. Besides he knew from experience she'd tell him just about anything when she was tired and he definitely had a game plan to tire her out.

"You're not going to tell me?" He began to pace towards her, predatory look in his eye.

Her smile brightened as she recognized that look and she began to back up the stairs slowly. "Nope," she shook her head, picking up her pace as he soon as he did, then turning and fleeing shrieking with laughter as Lee started coming up the stairs two at a time, growling.

He caught her in the doorway of her bedroom, arms around her waist, lifting her off her feet and tumbling onto the bed, laughing. He captured her wrists in his hands, holding them above her head as he started to nuzzle her ear and neck, nipping at the pulse point there while she sighed with contentment. He let her go, so that he could slide his hands under her, but along the way, his hand caught on something. Gripping it with his fingers, he pulled whatever it was out from between the pillows and found himself holding one of his t-shirts.

His lips twitched and he looked at Amanda with a mock stern expression. "I thought I put this in the hamper? At my apartment?"

"You might have," she giggled. "Or maybe I'm picking up your bad habits." His dimples deepened as she reached up to caress his cheek. "Or maybe, you're not the only one who hates to sleep alone…"

"Mmmm, I miss you too," he answered, dropping his head to kiss her as he tossed the t-shirt to the floor and then sighing. "And I would rather be curling up with the real thing every night instead of just your clothes. You deserve better than this, you know that?"

"Lee?" She waited until he looked into her eyes. "I'm sorry I was in such a bad mood the other day, but we _are_ doing the right thing. It's not forever, but _we_ will be. You know that, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do. And we have the whole weekend to ourselves right?"

"Right. And I believe you were about to try and peacock dance that story about my mother out of me, weren't you?

Hazel eyes lit with amusement gazed down at her. "You knew that was my plan?"

"Of course I knew. Now get on with it!"

"Yes Dear."


	5. Sunday Morning

Amanda at least had the sense to bat Lee's hand away from the ringing phone even though she was still half-asleep.

"We're at my house, remember?" She picked up the handset and almost yawned her "Hello?"

"How do you know when it's over?" It took her a second to figure out who it was and then she began to chuckle. It was uncanny how much alike Lee and Francine were – they honestly were just like siblings.

"It's usually a pretty good sign when you ask that question, but you should ask the 'relationship' expert," she said finally. She realized too late that Francine wasn't kidding as the note of anxiety came through as she spoke again.

"You're right. I should have called there first – I'm sorry I woke you up. Go back to sleep."

Amanda pulled herself upright, speaking more loudly now. "Wait a minute, wait a minute – don't hang up! What's going on? Are you okay?"

There was a beat of silence and then a slightly calmer tone from Francine. "I'm fine, but I think it might really be over with Jonathan this time."

"What did he do?"

She could hear her sighing at the other end of the line "We had a stupid fight about whether or not I was going to move to Europe with him, and he stormed off. He hasn't come back yet and I'm wondering if he's pulled another vanishing act."

"How long has he been gone?"

By now Lee was fully awake and at that question, he sat up too and went to grab the phone from her while she tried to evade him, pointlessly as always as he easily snatched it out of her hand.

"Are you alright?"

Amanda had leaned in so she could still hear Francine. "Lee? You're actually spending nights at Amanda's now?"

"Not often enough, no, but the boys are at Joe's and Dotty's at Curt's. So, are you okay? Do you need me to come down and kick his ass?"

Amanda leaned back to punch him in the arm. "Lee! She's a highly trained agent – she doesn't need your help to kick anybody's ass!"

She realized as she finished speaking that she could hear Francine saying almost the exact same thing.

Lee was laughing now. "Oh my God, it's like having stereo wives. And I know you can, but I told you I'd always be there for you, didn't I? So are you going to? Kick his ass, I mean?"

"I don't know. You two make domesticity look kind of attractive, but I don't want to give up my career just to make him happy. Last night I found myself making a list of all the things he does that annoy me, thinking it would help me see that I was being ridiculous, but all it did was make me realize that I don't think I want to be with him. "

Lee was silent for a moment, then asked slowly, "So, if someone walked in right now and told you he was gone for good, how would you feel?"

Amanda leaned in so she could hear Francine's soft reply, "Relieved".

"Well, there's your answer, Francine. Seems to me you've made the choice not to settle."

"You seem to have made that choice pretty easily." There was the briefest pause before Francine rushed to say, "Sorry – that came out wrong."

Lee and Amanda exchanged an eyeroll across the pillows before Lee sighed with exasperation and responded, "There's a big difference between settling down and just settling, Francine. Don't let him talk you into something you don't want."

Her sigh matched his. "Yeah, you're right. I'm going to give him a piece of my mind and then I'm coming home."

"You don't want to just walk out and leave him the same way he did to you? I'd want to if I were you."

"Of course not! He doesn't get to leave with even one iota of justifying this to himself as having been my fault!" That sounded more like Francine; Amanda was relieved to hear the indignation in her tone.

"Good for you," said Lee, laughing. Let us know when you're on your way and I'll pick you up at the airport."

"Sure, Dad," Francine was mocking his lecturing tone, but then added more seriously, "Lee? Remember when I told you to take care of your own business and keep out of mine? Thanks for not listening to me."

Lee's laughter increased at that. "Well, I learned that from the best, you know."

"Oh I know you did," Francine laughed. "See you soon."

Lee reached across Amanda to hang the phone up, then stayed draped across most of her body, licking her fluttering pulse point, hands roaming across her body, morning erection jumping against her thigh.

"I'm the best?" chuckled Amanda, running her hands along his shoulders and back.

"At not listening? Absolutely." She could feel him shaking with laughter as she slapped him on the shoulder.

"You're pretty cocky for a man who has to face his mother-in-law sometime in the next 24 hours knowing she's seen you naked."

Lee's head dropped heavily into the crook of her neck. "Oh God, why did I ever ask you what you meant? I could have lived quite happily the rest of my life not knowing that."

"That'll teach you to try and find out all my secrets," Amanda answered virtuously before dissolving into laughter at the way he groaned against her skin. "Now come on, let's get up and I'll make you breakfast one last time before Mother and the boys get home tonight."

"A-man-da!" he crooned. "Why do you have to be so damn perky this early? Can't we just skip breakfast and just stay here instead?"

"I'll make you a deal. We can stay here for a few more hours and then you can take me for brunch at Evans Farm Inn."

"It's a deal!" He lifted his head. "Wait a minute – why was it so easy to convince you?"

"Well, you're so darn cocky, how could I resist?"

"So darn… oh." He grinned as a warm hand grasped him and began to stroke firmly. "I do love that you're always so damn perky in the morning, you know." He shifted his weight to lie between her legs, knowing she'd be ready for him, but stopping to gently tease her breasts with light kisses.

"I know, but show me anyway, Sweetheart."

"Gladly, my love."


	6. Wednesday Afternoon

Lee was on his way out of Billy's office to start the search for Harry when it finally penetrated his brain.

" _That's why I've already sent a team to Lee's apartment to sweep for bugs."_

"Ah, Billy, when you said you sent a team to my apartment…" He grimaced slightly at the knowing grin that went across his boss' face.

"I asked Amanda to go over there with Beaman. She's sweeping inside and he's checking the outside lines. I figured by now that you didn't have too many secrets from your partner? Especially since it seems she has her own key?" Billy was almost wheezing with the chuckles he couldn't contain.

"Ah no," admitted Lee in an embarrassed tone. "But I'd rather get some warning next time."

"Are you sure you haven't got any secrets I should know about, Scarecrow? Have you got a woman in your life who'd be hard to explain, like Harry apparently does? That French girl isn't still around, is she?" Billy's eyes were twinkling and Lee knew he was blushing.

"Nope, nothing like that, Billy. Just, uh, well, you know I like my privacy."

"Noted." Billy was still smiling broadly at him. "I'll remember that for next time." He glanced at the monitor beside his desk that showed the video feed from the lobby security cameras. "And it looks like they're back already. I'm sure you can ask her all about anything she might have found."

His guffaws followed out Lee as he slunk out the door to join Francine in the bullpen.

* * *

"Now if we can just find Harry, I might be able to salvage some time alone with Amanda," muttered Lee as he raced the Corvette down the dirt track back to the highway. "As much as I love my family, it's really nice when they're not around sometimes."

 _My family_. Even after all these weeks, it still surprised Francine to hear those words come so easily from him.

"Boy, talk about breaking Harry's rule – you couldn't be more involved with someone you work with, could you?"

Lee snorted. "We could be a lot more involved if we weren't having to keep it a secret. I have the typical 2.5 kids and a white picket fence – and I live ten miles away! How crazy is that?" The frustration in his voice was clear.

"I really am sorry about that 'settling' crack I made the other week," she remarked unexpectedly.

Lee glanced over at her in confusion. "Settling?"

"When I called Amanda from San Angelo," she clarified. "I was still mad at Jonathan and I guess I took some of it out on you because you're making it look so easy."

Lee snorted in derision. "Easy? That'll be the day!"

She turned her whole body to study his profile as he drove. It was a relief to see that despite the comment, there was no sign of the grinding jaw that would tell her he meant that the way it sounded. She was reminded of Amanda saying much the same thing before she'd left for San Angelo. She was inexplicably cheered when Lee glanced sideways again and gave a short laugh and again said almost exactly the same thing Amanda had said a few weeks ago: "Don't look so worried!"

"How can I not worry?" she responded, deliberately keeping her tone light. "If you two don't find it easy, what hope is there for the rest of us?"

"Being married to someone you love is easy," sighed Lee. "Being married in secret is what's driving us both crazy. I was just saying this morning we're like firemen – living our life in shifts. And it's breaking her heart not to be able to tell her mother and always having to be careful at work as well so we dance around letting that bother us and then stupid little things turn into big things."

Again, it was almost exactly what Amanda had said, and she wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. She decided to probe it a bit further, still intrigued by what made this perfectly implausible relationship work. "Well, you know, Billy gave me some advice before I went off with Jonathan."

Lee cocked an eyebrow at her and waited for her to go on, which she did, imitating Billy's deep voice, "You know, Jeannie and I never let the little things bother us – if something's bothering us, we write it down and discuss it and put it behind us – and we've been happily married for 27 years!"

Lee's cheeks creased into a grin as he drove. "Did you try that before you tossed Stone out on his ear?"

"Didn't work for me somehow," she giggled. "I started making these mental lists of things he did that annoyed me – so that I could see how ridiculous they were – but instead of calming me down, after a while I just realized the list was way too long and even the dumbest things were things that made me way twitchier than they should have." She felt rather than heard the unspoken question in Lee's grunt of agreement. "Like when he hung a wet towel on the back of the bathroom door, on top of the dress I'd hung there to steam the wrinkles out."

Lee gave a snort of laughter. "I threw out Amanda's eye shadow yesterday because I thought it was empty," he admitted.

Francine gazed at him wide-eyed. "Oh my God, Lee - I mean I know they look empty, but there's _always_ that tiny bit left…"

"Well, I know that _now_ ," he chuckled. "I sure won't make that mistake again."

"That is one of your good qualities," agreed Francine. "You never make the same mistake twice without a very good reason." She waited for the dimple to deepen before asking with real curiosity. "So what's on your list? What does the perfect woman do that annoys you?"

It was a sign of how much had changed in the past few years that Lee didn't even pause to check her tone or expression before answering. "It's pretty terrible," he said immediately, his smile getting broader. "She moved my watch to the dresser so it wouldn't fall into the sink and get damaged." He gave out a long mock sigh and added, "And she put my car keys by the front door when I'd left them on my desk. And she changes the sheets on the bed every week – _every_ week! It's like living with my uncle again!"

Francine couldn't hold in the hoot of laughter. "So she annoys you by looking after your things, and you annoy her by throwing hers out? Wow, it _is_ a marriage made in heaven!" He did look sideways at that comment and she immediately reached over to squeeze his knee. "I'm kidding! But it is a relief to know perfect marriages aren't actually a thing, you know?"

"Apparently mine would be more perfect if I didn't make that noise in the shower," chuckled Lee.

"Oh God, you still do that? I'd have thought the neighbors would have reported you for suspicion of torturing a cat by now."

"Francine, you should know better than anyone that the only noise complaints I get are because-." He stopped abruptly, blushing and Francine burst into laughter.

"Oh, look at the married man! In the old days you would have finished that sentence, Stetson!" she crowed. The tips of his ears were scarlet now and she decided to take pity on him. "Okay, so what else does she do? Bake your favorite cookies? Do your laundry?"

Lee looked for a second like he was going to say something at that last one but changed his mind. "She makes me breakfast," he said in a mournful tone that he knew would make her laugh.

Indeed by now, Francine was almost crying with laughter. "Do you even listen to yourself? This information would be gold in the right hands!" She began mocking him in a Russian accent, "Boris, Natasha, get the omelette pan – we vill feed heem until he talks!"

"Okay, okay, I get it! I'm the worst husband ever!"

For some reason, that actually turned Francine serious. "Oh, you're really not. Jonathan would have been. He looked at our relationship the same way he did his businesses – he didn't look at the long term, only the fun short term and I'm not sure he ever really looked at me properly. We would have killed each other in the first six months."

Now it was Lee's turn to reach over and squeeze her knee. "And if it had come to that, I would have helped you dispose of the body," he said earnestly.

"You old softie," she replied as the giggles overtook her again. "At least I know I'll never have to return the favor."

"No, you won't," he grinned in agreement.

"Although helping Amanda… That's a whole other question," she added in a thoughtful tone as he began to laugh. "Do you still leave your socks balled up by the laundry hamper from when you miss it trying to pretend to be Kareem Abdul-Jabbar?"

Lee looked startled. "That's bad?"

"Oh yeah, that's bad," she nodded. "You're doomed, Lee. I won't even need my shovel, you're digging yourself such a deep hole all by yourself."

"I better come up with a standby list to use as ammunition then," remarked Lee as he gunned the engine as he turned back onto the highway towards DC.

"Brilliant plan, Scarecrow." He knew without looking that Francine was rolling her eyes. "I'll get you started. How about 'you always use milk chocolate chips in your brownies when you know I like the dark chocolate ones better'? Or maybe 'your briefing notes for the staff meetings are too thorough'? 'I hate that my uncle likes you more than me'"

Lee's grin had gotten broader the more things she came up with.

"Well, my uncle likes everybody more than me."

"You are such a liar, Lee. In fact, I'm going to suggest she add that one to her list: 'you start stupid fights with your uncle'. Oh you know you do," she went on, forestalling his interruption. "Although, from what I saw, he does think she's the best thing since sliced bread so she may be the exception that proves the rule." She smirked at Lee's grunt of agreement.

The Corvette slowed as Lee approached the heavier traffic on the Beltway. "Well, while I'm sure I could come up with several pages of list that would rival yours for stupidity, right now, we need to concentrate on finding Harry before he blows himself and that other list sky high. And the faster we do that, the faster I can get back to some time alone with my wife!"


	7. Thursday Night

To be fair, it had seemed like a good idea at the time.

It had all started the night before when he got back from the Smithsonian warehouse to find Amanda had already gone home to Arlington. He'd almost forgotten that Dotty and the boys were due back with everything else that had happened in the last 24 hours. He'd checked the clock before deciding that 11 o'clock was probably not too late to call and hear his wife's voice before he had to go to bed alone. Again.

Amanda picked up on the first ring. "Lee?"

"I hate that you're not here," he'd said without any preamble.

Her deep chuckle came down the line. "Well, I hate that you're not here."

"You're right. I hate that I'm not there too." There was a long silence until he rushed on, "We should talk. I mean, not _talk_ , but you know, talk. Boy, did that came out wrong!" The giggle at the end of the phone line reassured him and he tried again. "What I meant was, we should talk about what's really bothering us so we stop having the dumb fights."

Amanda was quiet for a moment before he heard her murmur, "Yeah, we should. If we have to live like this, we need to figure out the ground rules better."

He was stung by the idea that she thought he wanted rules when they were together, but after a moment's struggle, realized the stupidity of starting a conversation about it this late when they were both tired – and separated by several miles.

"How's Harry?" she asked quietly, changing the subject.

"Alive, thank God. I barely got a chance to check on him before the ambulance took him away, but Billy's last report was that he was going to be okay."

He took a deep breath, reliving those moments just before the piano had come crashing down and he'd been certain he was about to lose another important person in his life.

"You should sleep," came Amanda's soft voice and he realized he'd been silent too long.

"I should, but I'm too wired so I doubt I will for a while. Any letters left over here I should be looking for?" he asked hopefully.

She laughed and he relaxed at the beloved sound. "No, I haven't had time to do another one yet."

"Darn. They're so relaxing," he said in his best sexy voice. "Can't you give me a preview from memory?"

There was a beat while she thought and then he could hear the laugh in her voice as she began to recite, "Dear Penthouse, I just had to write and tell you about the exterminator who showed up to help me with my termite problem. Turns out he'd brought a really extra-special spraying wand."

"Amanda!" He began laughing helplessly and she soon gave up trying to continue when her own giggles overcame her.

"When will I see you tomorrow?" he asked finally when he got his breath back.

"Not sure," she said. "But not at the office. I took the day off because I made the boys promise to spend at least the morning with me before they disappear off to catch up with their friends, but I do have to go collect some stuff from your place at some point. And I definitely need to be home to make dinner – I promised to make their favorites."

He could hear in her voice how happy she was to have Phillip and Jamie back under her roof and sighed inwardly, wishing he was settled there as well, knowing that was the real problem they needed to resolve, not the petty arguments.

"Are you coming for dinner?"

"Of course, wouldn't miss it," he answered immediately, trying to ignore the pang that she'd felt she had to ask.

"Ok, good. The boys want to see you." She gave a quiet sigh. "Mother, on the other hand…"

"What?" Lee was startled. "Your mother doesn't want to see me?"

"Oh, she wants to see you alright. I've been getting the stink eye all evening because she can tell I don't have a big announcement to make." That edge was back in her voice, that scratchy sound that said she wasn't that far off from crying and he knew that was his fault too, not her mother's. The argument the previous morning had been dumb and they'd both tried to laugh it off, but the mood of irritation had been left hanging by the interruption of Harry's phone call. He knew though that it was much too late at night to do anything about that, and she'd gone from laughing to almost-crying in the space of a minute and while he knew it was mostly just late-night exhaustion taking its toll, it was killing him that he wasn't there to comfort her.

He tried to distract her: "Hey, can you find a bit of time to come with me to visit Harry at the hospital tomorrow? You should meet Christina – you'll like her. She bosses her husband around just like someone else I know."

"Yeah, I'd like that. It's nice to think I'm not the only member of the Secret Wives Club – even if I can't tell her that."

He winced as that distraction backfired spectacularly.

"I'm sorry." He really was - he wanted nothing more than to tell the world Amanda was his wife – but if there was ever a terrible time for anyone at the Agency to find out they'd been secretly married for months, it was probably right now, right after the revelation about Harry having done the same, but for years. Lee felt his heart constrict at the sudden horrible vision of being stuck in this loop for _years_. "We need to talk about that too."

He only realized what that had sounded like when he heard it replay in his head in the complete and utter silence that followed.

"Care to rephrase that?" came the dangerously quiet voice at the other end of the phone line.

"Yes. I mean, no – I mean, yes but not over the phone and not this late at night. Don't do this again, okay?" he pleaded.

"Don't do what again?" Her voice had risen slightly.

"Don't get upset because I said something stupid," he answered, throwing himself on his sword.

The choke of laughter reassured him, but he still didn't like the catch he could hear in the back of her throat.

"Well, goodness knows, you'd think I'd be used to it by now," she said finally.

"Oh, low blow," he teased.

"Oh no, that's a whole other letter," came back the immediate response. Lee released in inner sigh of relief – she couldn't be that upset if she was joking about letters again.

"Okay, Scheherazade, I'll look forward to that. I love you, Mrs. Stetson."

"I love you too."

He hung up and flopped down on the sofa, staring at the ceiling. It seemed like Harry turning out to have a secret wife had really put their marriage under the microscope. He was really happy for Harry but in so many ways, the timing couldn't have been worse. No, he decided, this wasn't Harry's fault – God knew they'd been letting things get to them before he'd ever called.

He could suddenly hear Francine in the car yesterday laughing and imitating Billy: _I_ _f something's bothering us, we write it down and discuss it and put it behind us._

"Well if it's really worked for them for 27 years, maybe we should give it a try," he said to the empty room. He pulled himself upright and went to the liquor cabinet to pour himself a neat Scotch, then collected a steno pad from the desk and settled back onto the couch, pad resting on his knees. "Well, start with the ones we already know, I guess" he muttered and began to scribble.

 _1\. Reorganizing apartment without telling me_

 _2\. Scheduling_

 _3\. Living arrangements_

 _4\. Making breakfast_

He grinned as he added that one, remembering how hard it had made Francine whoop the day before. He knew it looked silly written out like that, but it wasn't like she was going to see the list exactly – he just wanted to list it to remind himself of the more general problem; she needed to mother him less and to accept that there were certain things that weren't going to change, like his lack of appetite in the morning. His grin broadened as he mentally amended that: _appetite for food, not my wife_.

He leaned back and stared at the ceiling, trying to think if there was anything else he should add. _Fair's fair, I should put her stuff down too._

 _5\. Throwing out personal stuff_

 _6\. Not telling your mother_

That one really gave him pause for thought. Should they tell her mother? It seemed insane that Francine knew and the relative closest to them both didn't. She was making Amanda miserable, even if she didn't know it, with her constant jabs about their relationship. So if she knew they were together, would it be so different if she knew they were married? Except for the part where she never spoke to them again for eloping… He groaned – if they told Dotty about the marriage, they'd have to tell her why they kept it secret and all about their jobs and if they told her, how could they not tell Billy? And if they told Billy, would they have to make it official? Would Francine get in trouble for knowing? He groaned again. How could something as normal and everyday as marrying the woman you love be so _complicated_?

"How can this be this hard?" he muttered to himself. "I really am the worst husband ever,"

 _You're really not_. Francine's voice floated through his head.

"Glad someone thinks so" he said thoughtfully. "Wish it was my wife." He twirled the pen between his fingers and stared at the list, before idly writing,

7\. …

Did he have anything else? He knocked back the Scotch and stared at the paper. He must have been tired and maybe that explained why the Scotch went to his head, but he found himself writing,

7\. You use milk chocolate chips in your cookies.

8\. Shower singing complaints

He looked at it and started to laugh, then carefully wrote:

9\. My uncle likes you better than me

10\. Billy likes you better than me.

11\. For God's sake, Francine likes you better than me!

By now the silliness had taken over completely and he found himself adding more and more outrageous things, laughing harder and harder as he imagined sharing them with Amanda, until finally he'd filled six pages with complete nonsense before finally writing:

48\. You make me love you too much.

He stared at the last page, his head now throbbing with exhaustion, before he carefully flipped the pad closed and rested it on his chest. Before he knew it, he'd drifted off to sleep.

* * *

He woke with a start, the phone blaring out across the room. He glanced at his watch as he ran to answer it, seeing to his horror that it was almost 10 – and he was supposed to have been leading the 9:30 meeting to wrap up the debrief on the previous night's activities.

"Hi Billy – no, I'm fine – just overslept. No, just couldn't get to sleep last night. No, I'm on my way. I'll be there in twenty."

He scrambled into a clean shirt, grabbed his car keys and ran out of the apartment – completely forgetting the steno pad that had slipped to the floor.


	8. Friday Morning

"Good morning, Dotty, can I speak with Amanda?"

"Isn't she with you, Lee, Dear?"

"What do you mean, isn't she with me?"

"She said she was stopping by your apartment this morning to pick some things up and then she'd be at the office for most of the afternoon. She left ages ago."

"I thought she was spending the morning with the boys?"

"Oh she meant to, but they got an invitation to go to a pool party so she just gave up and said she had things to do anyway. But they're under orders to be home for dinner – you'll be there, of course?"

"Of course. See you then."

He hung up and then immediately picked it up again, dialing Amanda's desk in the Q Bureau. No answer. Pressing down the cradle button, he dialed again.

"Mrs. Marston, has Mrs. King arrived yet this morning?"

"I'm afraid not, Mr. Stetson. Shall I tell her you're looking for her when she does arrive?"

"Yes, please. Thank you, Mrs. Marston."

He hung up again, and sat on the edge of Billy's desk, an uneasy feeling starting to tighten in his chest. The debrief had been mercifully short, and he was ready to head over to the hospital to check on Harry and get his statement but Amanda had said she wanted to come with him and now… where was she? The tightening was just threatening to unfurl into the beginnings of panic when he realized Francine was waving at him through the window of Billy's office.

"Amanda, line two" she mouthed across the room, pointing to the phone and holding up two fingers to make certain he understood.

The relief was almost overwhelming as he picked up the phone, jabbing the flashing button to connect.

"Amanda? Where are you? I tried you at home and your mother said you were headed here. Is everything ok?"

"I'm at the apartment." Her voice was curiously flat and the hair on the back of his neck went up.

"Are you alright?' he asked. "You sound… funny."

"Oh yeah, I'm a barrel of laughs right now." There was a long beat and then, "I found your list."

"My list?"

"Your list of complaints."

With dawning horror, it finally sank in what she was talking about and for the first time he recognized that the flat tone in her voice was barely controlled fury.

He began to babble, hiding the inner panic. "It's not a list of complaints! It's just some notes on things we need to figure out! Amanda, listen to me. I thought if we just made a list of each other's quirks we could sit down and talk everything out with reason, rationally. That list was a rough draft I didn't expect you to read it!"

"Six pages? Six pages of 'quirks'?" her voice was rising now.

"Ok, six pages is a bit excessive and maybe a little petty…" _but most of them were meant to make you laugh_ was how that was supposed to end, but too late – she'd hung up and he was left staring at the receiver. "When will I ever learn?" he asked the empty room.

For a moment he thought about calling her back but then Billy walked back in, looking at him quizzically and then started to tease him about his "partnership" with Amanda, complete with the same relationship speech he'd given Francine weeks before and suggesting he might even get married one day.

 _I don't know why we haven't told him everything – he obviously knows everything that's going on. Well, not everything._

He gave Billy a wry look and left his office, pretending he couldn't hear the laughter behind him. He stopped outside Billy's door, wondering whether he should head straight to the apartment or wait until Amanda had cooled off. He couldn't shake the sinking feeling that he might have really fucked up this time. He thought back to the note in her voice and decided it was probably in his best interests to wait. She couldn't yell at him in front of the boys when he came for dinner, right? And maybe by then, he'd have figured out a way to calm her down… He gave a visible shudder as he imagined what he was going to have to do for that to happen.

Behind him, Billy watched and continued to chuckle quietly – he recognized all the signs of a man in the throes of a fight with his girlfriend and if he was reading it correctly, whatever was going on was all Lee's fault. He waited for a moment, watching Lee physically shake it off and stride away across the bullpen _. I wonder if he'll listen to my advice?_ Still chuckling, he picked up the phone, paused for a moment while he debated what number to call and then dialed.

The angry voice that answered told him he'd been right in guessing that whatever was going on was Scarecrow's fault.

"Oh, there you are Amanda, I was hoping I'd be able to track you down." His grin broadened as he heard her tone change drastically at hearing his voice. "I was wondering if you could do me a favor. It's to do with one of your old cases…"


	9. Friday Afternoon

_Remember that FB challenge way back in February?_ _Two characters are having a serious discussion that turns into an argument. One character leaves in an all-out huff. This story more or less meets that challenge and also *finally* completes the plot I started back in "Opening the Floodgates", for those of you wondering if I'd forgotten that little plot bunny._

She looked up from writing her note and looked quickly back down so he wouldn't see the smile on her face. Lee had looked so panic stricken for that split second that it had almost broken her resolve to torture him for just a little longer. She knew she couldn't enjoy it for long – they had bigger problems than him venting his frustrations in stupid lists. She wondered again where he'd cribbed that ridiculous idea from – it had all the hallmarks of a supermarket checkout magazine quiz.

She glanced up and noticed he was approaching slowly as if afraid she might bolt.

"Do you have flowers behind your back?"

"No," he answered readily. She was surprised – she was sure he'd go for something classic to get back in her good books. Then she saw the pad of paper in his hand and felt a twinge of annoyance.

"More complaints?"

"No." He knelt down in front of her to look her in the eye. "It's a list of all the things I love about you."

She had to laugh then – he'd managed to surprise her again with his ridiculous romantic gestures. He'd relaxed as soon as he heard her start to laugh and then she'd put up one finger to keep him from moving any closer. "It had better be a long list." She took his face between her hands and kissed him. In reality, it could have been a blank sheet of paper for all she cared – she could see it in his eyes how much he loved her – she'd never doubted that. The intensity of his look reminded her of their wedding day –

"Oh my gosh!" She'd suddenly remembered what the note was about that she'd been writing when he'd arrived home and pushed him away to gaze wildly at him.

"Problem, Mrs. Stetson?"

She gave a hollow laugh. "That's the problem. I'm not Mrs. Stetson."

His brows drew together and he moved backwards slightly as if she'd struck him. "That's not funny, Amanda," he snapped.

"No, seriously. We're not married." She reached out to grab his lapel and bring him back closer as if that would negate what she was saying.

"Amanda, I was there – there was a judge, there was a witness, we said vows- of course we're married. The Commonwealth of Virginia says we are."

"No, actually, the Commonwealth of Virginia thinks we're not." She took a deep breath and tried to get her thoughts in order. "So today after we'd argued-" she took his hand when he winced, "Billy called me here to see if I could go pick up some depositions from the local sheriff's office that worked on the McMasters case."

"What do you mean he called you here? Here at the apartment?"

"Of course he did. You know he knows perfectly well where we spend our time off. We're not fooling him anymore. Anyway, that's not the point – I said yes because I figured the drive would help me calm down."

"That's a pretty long drive – did it take you the whole time?" Lee was smiling when he asked but she could hear the shadow of concern in his voice.

"Of course not. By the time I hit city limits, I had my own list written in my head and it was just as dumb as yours. But stop interrupting – this is serious! So I had to go to the sheriff's office to pick up all the paperwork on that case and I suddenly realized we'd never gotten the photo of our wedding from that clerk that was the witness, so I went down the road to Marion to find her and there was our picture on a bulletin board outside her office with this note that said, "Do you know these people?"

"What the hell?"

"Yeah, so much for all our efforts to be discreet, right? So I pulled it down and went to find her and she was so happy to see me, she almost cried. But Lee, the reason we never got the photo in the first place was because there was a burst pipe in the courthouse the day after we got married. All the paperwork was wrecked and they didn't have anything that could tell them how to contact us. All they had were the pictures she'd taken that day because she dropped the film off to be developed on her way home."

"What do you mean the paperwork was wrecked?"

"It was all destroyed in the flood – our paperwork, the license, the official register – everything. Our marriage never got filed with the state and although they were given a month's extension to find everyone and redo everything, they couldn't find us and they thought we'd get in contact with them, but of course, we didn't with everything that happened in California."

"That can't be right. We got stuff back from the State Clerk's office just last month, I know we did. Hang on." Lee got up and walked to the spare room that doubled as his home office and dug through the piles of paper. "Yeah, here it is," he said, walking back towards her. "I figured it was just our copy of the license so I never bothered to open it, I just put it aside to take to the safety deposit box" He ran a letter opener along the side of the envelope and pulled out a single sheet. As Amanda watched him read, she saw the shock on his face as he sank back onto the couch. "Oh crap"

"Not the license I guess?" she asked wryly.

"No, it's a notice from the state that the license we took out expired after 60 days and reminding us we'll need another one if we're still intending to get married."

"Mrs. Bowman did say that we could file in court to have the marriage recognized, but that it might just be simpler to do the whole thing over." Amanda paused and looked across at Lee. "So what do we do now?"

Lee was still staring at the letter he held in his hand and didn't appear at first to have heard her. He absentmindedly re-folded the sheet of paper and put it back in the envelope and then stared off into space, still lost in thought.

"Or we could pretend the whole thing never happened, I suppose," she added with a smile. For some reason, that appeared to get his attention and he turned his head to stare at her. Her smile began to falter as he said nothing but still appeared to be thinking.

"That's it!" he said suddenly. "Pretend it never happened! It's perfect!" He stood up and began pacing rapidly around the room.

"Excuse me?" said Amanda in shock. "That's the option you think is the best one? Pretending none of this ever happened?" She waited for him to deny it or to laugh it off, but with a sinking heart, she watched him continue to pace, barely listening, until he finally stopped dead and turned to her, still with that strange look on his face.

"Yes! It's perfect! Don't you see? It's like it never happened!" For the first time, he really looked at her and took in the expression on her face. "Oh my God, Amanda! I don't mean it like that!"

"Oh really? And what exactly do you mean?" For the first time since their marriage, she could feel real rage bubbling up at him. She had spent her day on an emotional roller-coaster already and now her husband – or rather her not-husband – was looking like the cat that swallowed the canary because it turned out they weren't even married. She felt the sting of tears starting up. "Because 'It's perfect- it's like it never happened' sounds pretty clear to me!" She got up and stormed to the door, trying to hold in the sobs she knew were coming. Lee was so stunned, she was halfway down the hall to the elevator before he caught up to her. Picking her up bodily, he carried her back to the apartment and deposited her on the couch, dropping to his knees in front of her, and grabbing up her hands in his.

"Amanda! I don't mean it _didn't_ happen, I mean it's _like_ it didn't happen!"

"There's a difference?" she asked skeptically.

"Of course there is. Look, you said we had two choices right? Go to court or pretend like it never happened?"

"Yes, but there was also a third one in there – do it over again"

"Exactly!"

"Lee, would you please get to your point because I don't know whether I'm coming or going anymore." She had to rub her eyes to keep the tears from starting again.

"Amanda, it's simple. We thought keeping this a secret would be the best idea because it gave the boys and your mother time to get to know me right? And we thought it would be safer? Well, it didn't keep you any safer and all it does is keep us apart when we shouldn't be."

She began to see the glimmer of where he was headed with this and took a deep breath, hoping she was right. "Keep going – I think I'm following you now."

"Ok, so if there's no paper trail that says we ever got married, we can pretend like it never happened and do it properly. Think about it, a proper ceremony with family, friends, then life with one roof, one bed." He paused after the last item and gave her his best sexy grin. "Unless you want to keep the apartment for weekends alone together," he added.

She stopped to think about the image he'd conjured up: a proper wedding and a proper marriage and no guilty confessions to her mother about how they'd eloped all those months ago. "That sounds like heaven, but can we really do it? There's got to be rules against agents being involved and if there isn't, I wouldn't put it past Dr. Smyth to create one."

Lee shrugged. "I wouldn't either, but I'm past caring what he does. Billy still keeps sending me notices about jobs coming up in State Department. If Smyth kicks off, we go somewhere else. Washington is full of opportunities for people with our skill set." He started to laugh. "And it looks like Harry just set a pretty good precedent that this sort of thing has been going on for decades anyway! At least my wife isn't a Russian defector!"

"Lee, your wife isn't even your wife right at the moment."

Lee squeezed her hands and looked intently at her. "My wife is my wife. You and I both know we're married already – bureaucrats and floods and paperwork don't get to say we're not. But come on, say you'll marry me again – third time's the charm you know."

She had to laugh at that. "This is twice you've weaseled out of being married to me because of faulty paperwork; why should I trust you a third time?" she asked.

"You can't. You know I'm terrible with paperwork, that's why I keep you around. This time you're in charge of that part of it. You can tie me up in as many miles of red tape as you want, just say you'll marry me again."

"I do enjoy getting to tie you up," she said in a thoughtful tone, her smile just barely showing. She thought that would get a laugh out of him and looked up to realize Lee wasn't smiling back. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"You haven't answered me yet," he said

"Answered you about what?" she asked, honestly confused.

"Whether you'll marry me again."

Amanda started to laugh and then realized he was serious. "Lee Stetson! I love you more than anything else in the world – of course I'm going to marry you again! And this time, we're going to do it in front of as many witnesses as we can get because you are not getting out of it this time, Buster!"

Lee stood up and pulled her up out of her chair and into his arms. "I love you Amanda." He brought his lips to hers and kissed her gently, then more insistently as he felt her rise up like the tide against him. "And I'll marry you every year if it means I get to do this forever."

"It's a deal" She caught her breath as his hands snaked under her sweater and began to caress her rapidly warming flesh.

Then she said the one thing she never did in this situation. "Scarecrow?"

He knew without looking that she was smiling because he could hear it in her tone. He leaned back to stare at her with an expression of mock annoyance. He knew she could see right through him – she just looked more gleeful when she met his eyes and she began to laugh outright when he answered her, "Yes, _Darling_?"

"Take me to bed or lose me forever, you big stud." Lee burst out laughing. For some reason, Amanda had just loved that movie, despite his constant whispers through the whole thing about all the ways Air Force pilots were so much better than those Navy hotshots. She claimed her enjoyment was nothing to do with the volleyball scene – just that it was a nice romantic movie- but then she'd laughingly overemphasized that it also had nothing at all to do with Tom Cruise's dimples and beautiful, beautiful eyes. Lee continued to pretend he hadn't liked it just as much for the aerial fight scenes, but he knew she'd seen through him.

He leaned and dropped a light kiss on her lips. "Show me the way home, Honey."

She took his hand and began to back away towards the bedroom. "Always."


End file.
